Perseverance

 "Can I follow you like a shadow behind, catch you if you fall, carry you if you're weak, smile along when you're happy, and to remind you that you're never alone?"

I cant wait to end this with you. Despite that you gave me so much knowledge in life, you had too much responsibilities I had to cope up with. It's so hard going through life like this for years. I will, for sure acknowledge every single bit of life experience with you. I guess this is how, people learn and cultivate one's ingenuity for future advantage. Whether or not I'll get back together with you again in the future, I'll ensure that it will be off for the better. For now, let the 18th of June 2010 mark the end of our relationship, Mr. Exam.

I'm going to start bitching about studies because it's stressing me out..
I nearly failed my 40% assignment F**ku! need some self efficacy to survive. Pressures on when u're surrounded with super smarties and you feel like a dumb shit. fuckmylife. I've never been so hardworkin in life for such a long duration of 3 months! In my ENTIRE LIFE! Blardy 3 months unlike a week or two in previous semesters. People say "enjoy your study life as much!!" UGRH! how to enjoyyyy..... keepin up with smarties damn freakin hard you knoww..its like if you're dumb means you're dumb?if you're a genius means you're a wizard? ass..

the good stuff? what im learning is no doubt interesting. ;) that's the ONLY thing that keeps me going.

but then again, go dieshitasscrazybabi assignments and exams!

*I forgot to add in this lovely song. Yiruma is awesomeshit!!

wish I could play like him. or someone please teach me. :)

Signing out~

loves eating ice cream with nestum! nyuuumm..

Weep for joy

"Lets not go through sadness under a weeping willow but through tears of joy under a sacred tree"

I found a rather interesting statement from The Age:

Without sadness, we would never know what happiness is.... To be fully human – to be "normal" – is to be occasionally engulfed by waves of grief or sadness, and stymied by feelings of despair, doubt or disappointment. Without all that, we'll never know what happiness is (even assuming we know what we're looking for).... Sadness is as authentic an emotion as happiness. The fleeting moments of bliss and joy, and even the deeper sense of contentment that occasionally envelopes us, only make sense because they represent such a contrast with the experience of pain, trauma or sadness, or even with those times when we feel ourselves trapped in a tedious, dreary routine.

So is happiness beyond our control? something to ponder.. :)

For the past week,

Just baked Vanilla Butter Cake yesterday!! for breakfast, tea time and supper! Nyum..

At last! i found myself a uni bag from Kate Hill that I love much!!! Pls stay as strong as forever, coz u're not cheap! 

My new pouch for my baby camera coz I lost the old one!!!!! DAMN SAD OK! and this shit cover cost me $20 = RM60? I can get it for RM10 in Msia. It's the cheapest n nicest I could find here in Melb :( Alllll for my baby cam.. But so prefer this cover than the previous one. hehe!

This is what I learn for Micro. More more more journals :( but less exams :) in a way, its better for me. I HATE EXAMS!

For Macro presentation. Macro is no easy shit! especially with all the methodology.. equations...symbols.... proving... blehhh!

*fingers crossed* Possible topics for my thesis. Hopefully, i dont die halfway doin it. 

My superly packed time table for this week till.. the last day of exams. :(

Whats in due?

Macro 10% Presentation, Macro 20% Survey Paper, Micro 50% Test, Econometric Techniques 15% Assignment, Financial Economics 40% Assignment. Two 70% Final Exams.

and why am I still here bloggin?? Sigh. 100% will regret for not having sufficient time. 

How i wish, I could skip all these and go back Msia to see my bestiess and celebrate their buttdays!!! Miss them much, Jacq Dee Munhoe. and Sheela.. in NewCastle. lol! Happy birthday to all May Babiesss. xoxo

and no.. i'm not going back to Msia after exams. Flight tickets are way too expensive :( *sob

Despite all these pre-stress period..

Chocolates will never fail to fill me up!

Signing out.
I like boys men who can cook!

Malaysia Truly Asia

"Tomorrow and yesterday doesn't exist, is it because only the present is real? But if yesterday didnt exist, what is today?"

 Malaysia Truly Asia, I sound so patriotic! Dang!
and why am I being so patriotic today? because
I found a rather interesting video. I first saw it when my friend posted it on fb..

I'm proud to call myself a Malaysian but not so proud of Malaysia. Its true that I believe we, as Malaysians should have equal rights. If not, really? whats the point of being a citizen of Malaysia when I can have better benefits in other countries? or maybe, I'm just missing out some of the hidden benefits not told or experienced. In this point of being a student, not knowing how work life in Malaysia really feels.. I cant judge much but hearing from many many people who worked their ass off, hmm underpaid = low real income? Why is this happening? Why is price rising but having income stagnant?? Is Msian's economy that oblivious?? or people just lovesss working with low wage? Now, I see why an increasing amount of 'ethical' people running away year after year..

But on the other hand, I guess having my family and friends in Malaysia just fills the empty unsatisfied spot in life. doesnt it? Love the food, the culture hmm... shit thats all??? specially hate the weather and dirty toilets! so B-L-A-R-D-Y disgusting going to public toilets in Msia! I cant live my whole life keeping my pee for long.. at some point, people just got to learn how to pee!!! I put my hands up for janitors, I officially respect you for coping up with Msian toilets. 

Despite all these, I have faith in our future generation of bumiputras. No doubt, you have the coercion to change things around. I believe you can see what the present will bring to future lives in Malaysia, and I see a better future can be achieved. Hard but as easy as it sounds, a change in mentality.. I want to see us being real Malaysians not just because we were born in Malaysia, but having real meaning to it.

Now back to Australia,
haha! I love music, I love dance, I love So You Think You Can Dance!!!
Claps for Robbie for winning the competition, Jessie and Ivy taking 2nd and 3rd place, were hot hot hot! 

2 of my favourite dance videos!
*I dont know why cant the embed html work in blogspot!* =( so I just link the videos.

This is what I call ART.
and
another video by FAME, great choreography!!
First girl dancer was the winner for SYTYCD 2009.
.
.
and a random video of a girl playing her saxophone in hmm.. no idea which country. but she's good!
Updated: According to Arthur Wong, "she's Kaori Kobayashi, japanese pro sax player". I find it hmm very disturbing having the sentence, 'japanese pro sax player'. hahaha!!!! saxOPHONE yo! plus coming out from Arthur. nvm, I understand, short form short form... doesn't work if you say it out. Right?? who would ever think its a short form for saxophone? loL! Anywayyy.....

Based on my personal goals that I was supposed to achieve, I FAILED miserably. No gym, more food, assignment not done, thesis topic not picked, slept later, but.... I did my macro h/w, got my face moisturizer and patience hmm.. no choice but got to. 4/3, failed!!! =(

Signing out~

LadyBuggiess

"Individualism stands higher than one's image, that's how I see you. Do you?"

A pretty witty adorable lil ladybug. Admirable and gentle on humans. 

Unlike, colourful frogs that are poisonous and icky! one of the 101 reasons why I HATE frogs!

Can I own a few ladybuggiess? 

For those who are intrigued to know how am I coping with Honours, well.. Yes, I'm still surviving. It's tough for my level of "smartness" but on the other hand, never regretted. What i'm learning are applied economics which make things much much interesting and everything has its sense! lol! Still having a tough time picking a suitable thesis topic. Supervisors aren't helping at this very point in time, which bothers me! *Urgh

I'm blogging right now, because I'm in the state of No-Mood-For-Studies as usual. But I should instead sleep! oh well, I'm just gonna quickly list down my personal goals for the next 7 days:

• Accomplish my beautifully confusing Econometrics assignment.
• Do blardy Macro h/w. H/w now becomes a requirement when you're one of the 7 students in the class. Your presence becomes MORE obvious. Participation is not optional. Dang! no running away..
• Thesis topic COME ON!! Smoking/drugs/exchange rate/carbon emission?
• Hit the gym for at least 3 times a week. Abs is what I want to see in July! Also, toned up flabby thighs!
• Get a good face moisturising mask / night cream. Face needs pampering. Winter cold is approachinggg.. brrrrr..
• Taking the fact that its already 130am. I should hit the bed early for the next few days! Body needs minimum of 10 hours of sleep. how baby-ish! 
• Patience dear girl. Time passes..... tik tok tik tok =(

Good night. See you in a week time bloggy!
Hate tickles! Hmph!

Distance

"You're not alone, just a lil bit out of place. One day, you'll find your way back. With belief, let the waves push you to the furthest."

I always hear problems occuring in a relationships, no doubt it happens. But is it worse when it comes to long distance? When u need that someone, u need him/her physically to actually support u in every way. I'm no professional in relationship so does anyone in this whole wide world because no one's perfect enough to understand anything and everything. But from what I've been through, it's been tremendous! and yes, i wasn't the only one but also the other half i was with. I'm being fair and its true.

As for me, what ever that happened had made a great impact in everyway. Going through obstacles that other people consider HUGE, it would be a normal thing to me. What i mean, it made me stronger, much stronger than i would expect. For example, a girl breaks up with her ex because she found out he cheated on her for the past 1 year. Imagine the kind of pain she has to go through compared to a huge fight with her current bf now? This thing that makes u stronger, is it actually good? Well yea, i guess so? but to get that amount of strength, you go through HELL that you never imagine going through.

Long Distance is crap really.. like there's no way you can say, everything's FINE.

The reason to why im writing this is not because of me, my past, or anything about me but for those out there. Its very disheartening when I see or hear relationships breaking up due to distance. I feel their pain, I sort of know what are they going through and it's like the toughest challenge in a relationship. Dont u think?

Word of advice: You need not little but LOADS LOADS of understanding, TRUST, PATIENCE and appreciation. STOP whinning about the possibilities of cheating, lies yada yada yada. You'll end up restricting one another and it'll make matters worse. If you're so afraid of all these happening, then lets just forget about making this relationship happen. At the same time, what i mean by stop whinning doesn't mean u stop caring. Being caring and possessive is 2 different thing and it depends how u set it out, for what I apprehend, its varies through situations, and it comes through experience not theoretically. lol! For all this, its gonna take MORE than just words.. All has to be there, u cant miss out patience or understanding even if u have trust. That just doesnt make sense right? Moreover, you have to be confident in yourself. It's important to find that courage in you to live with someone who's not physically around. Or, u'll end up losing ur feelings and being influenced by other people, the "bad" people who tries to win your heart. Its tough.. Filling up your time doing other things helps! hangin out with girlfriends for girls and vice versa and expressing how you feel, it releases the stress ;) ur friends have their thoughts and trust me, it's worth listening. Bear in mind that, it doesn't mean you have to follow what they say coz they dont know everything but what they say actually tells you what they see outside the relationship. Just dont get too caught up with their words, some can be a real bitchy friend. haha!

Lastly,

Dont forget the power of Love, it helps in someway..

I talk like a love doctor. wtf! no im not. Easy to say, not so easy when it really happens.. So tell me why am i actually blogging this?? haha!

 Despite all the emo emo feelings up there, I saw this amazing dance competition held in US. DAMN THEY're GOOD! If you have the time and interest in dancing, have a look at the videos below:

I wish I could dance like them ;( pfft. 

Signing out~

I'm still dreamingg.. Pinch me on Sat pls! 

EXCITEDD SYIOT!