Disappointing

"the ability to put up a smile and stand tall are the strong ones but not anything beneath it..sometimes I wish I was stronger from beneath"

 Sun in the night. Never fades. Never disappears. I wish I had a sun like this in my heart forever to brighten my everyday.

I feel friggin downnn.. OMG. I dont know what should I do now. Felt like a huge brick just fell on me and broke my body into tiny pieces. The amount of effort put in for the past 5 months is way over my shoulders but the results doesnt seem to show any better. I need hell load of faith to continue what im doing but I cant seem to find it. If I would to give up now, will it better? Will I regret for giving up? Never felt this much of disappointment in MY LIFE! I think I need some self-eficacy therapy, anywhere in mind?wtf. urgh. :'(

Welcome to my blog of disappointments and sadness. Nothing seems to be fine, literally.. except the time spent with friends.

Signing out.

Unknown consequence

"What happens if you have a life dictionary that tells you the consequences you will face after choosing an option, would everyone in the world be happy? but wouldn't one be happier with a surprise?"

good or bad, let it be a choice than no where.

How's life? Results are out tomorrow, thesis outline is due coming Friday, classes are starting next Monday. Not forgetting, 500 words for thesis tomorrow 10am, not a single line. Life's not very good. Hope and prays everything will be fine :) 

Bad consequences doesn't come unless we've put in the effort. And perception changes depending on how you embrace the situation. No one's weird, no one's crazy, no one's sad nor happy. It's you and your perception. I'm happy with my perception and facing the consequences is just something to learn from. Life that is. Feelings goes up and down down down down.. waiting to be pushed up but when? I'll get there if I was a little more stronger, or a little more wiser, or a little more aware, that's if.. only if...

Oh, God knows what am i talking. LOL!

Let's go back to our teens..

I cant take my eyes off this video! Thanks to all the lovely puppies. I so want one! makes me happy whenever i see one. :)

Signing out~
I wish I had a life dictionary at this very point in time.

Hold On

"Everytime I convince myself that everything is going to be fine, but when I open my eyes, look into my heart and observe the reality, I start asking myself 'am I living in denial'? and yes, not everything is fine. You're not the only one.."

 Me trying to pose like Jap! Failed! HOw on earth do they pose and look effing cute with huge eyes???

Proven: I'm no kawaii. thank God!

Im still in my holidays!!! *JUMPSsss!! It feeels good.. no doubt! Today, I've accomplished in finding a thesis topic. It's somewhat interesting although its not what I intended to do at first. It's relatively difficult you know, finding something interesting while having it beneficial for the future. But what my supervisors always say.."just choose what you're interested in, because you'll be spending about 5 months doing it. What's important is getting a good mark, not creating a super-confusing-uninteresting-good topic" =/ okayyy..

By the way, Arthur is here in Melb! Woot! Feels like old times.. but Brandon's missing. lol

Other than that, I've been in a cooking/baking spreee... 

I had extra coconut cream and had no idea what to do with it.. so, googled for recipe and tried this Pacific Ocean Fish.

OK only. Not very fantastic. lol! 

Baked chili fish. everyone also can bake... 

 Crepe. 4 different types..

Strawberry jam - Peanut butter and honey - ham and cheese - nutella.

Made too much. couldn't finish lol!

 Nasi lemak. 

Chicken curry - Sunny side up - Fried anchovies - coconut rice

I cheated by buying sambal instead of making one. HAHA!!! lazyyy

what's missing.. cucumbers and peanuts!

 Orange poppyseed cupcake with passionfruit icing. 

Later today, lemon meringue pie :)
Tomorrow, prawn & kingfish choo-chee. Wish me luck!

Cute song

Signing out~

Temptations

"So tempting, so evil, so unforgettable. Instead of saving, it made one spend even more because it is cheaper. How psychological.. I hate you at times, Sales" 

 Sales makes me go Ooo OOo Ah AH!!!

Somewhat today, has been a very productive day for me. I worked my ass off cleaning the toilet which hasn't been cleaned for months! OMG. It was so dirty, I have no idea how my other housemates could bear them. So, beware of who's your housemates. Choose and pick properly. Never get the ones you have a close relation with, sometimes they tend to take advantage and then they become really really pampered! Argh!! *pissed off! Good luck next year when I'm OFF for good!  

Besides that, I've printed out 5 copies of my resume but only achieved to hand out ONE to Bardot in Melb Central. omg. so sad. I know.. Nobody wants to hire me.. :( but I'm not giving up on retails yet! Besides finding for money, I spent some money. How bad is that? I bought myself a whole new set of bag for makeups, toiletries, brushes, etc.. My makeup bag is overflowing =/

I bought this,

 Cute right? for $15!! 

and and..

I got this for free!!! 

I was so so happy when I opened the paperbag that was packed with my bag that I bought. YEAY! Now I have a beach / stayover bag! *jumps jumps jumps!

And I kinda just noticed where all my money went. Before this I was thinking.. I only bought 1 dress, 2 leggings from Sydney and a jacket which totalled up about $150 and thats it! THATS IT! no tops, no other dresses.. So little right? I spent so much more last year.. LOL! Think through it, I finally knew where all that money went...... Make ups, Brushes, SHOES!!! Makeups and brushes aint cheap man!

Yes, I'm a shoe addict!!!

$20 bucks! Like it or not.

I'm gonna have a huge closet for muh own shoes! Walk in closet that is. =D

Especially during sales. $20 bucks! How cheap is that!! How can you resist??? and it's effing nice unlike Msian shoes fugly! :( sorry papi, I hate sales too and shoes is a necessity in my life. HAHA *spoiled! not really larrr..

Other shoes?

Love the design. It was about $17 bucks? It was on SUPER sale!!  

Bought this last year. This is pricey. About $49 :(

This cost $21 bucks. Hardest to wear of them all. I practically need someone to hold while walking. I can trip anytime!!! 4 inch stilletos. I'm so not good with 4 inch and above. Maybe its my cold feet? Hmm. Oh well, got to start practising for good! 

 

TaDAa!! LOVe them all!

Other stuffs?

Bronzer for contouring!

This crayon eyeliner is good! Love it!

Bad side is when I draw it on the bottom waterline, it still smudges. but it doesnt smudge thatt bad.. just have to recheck everytime :(

I'm gonna try Sephora Brand Flashy liners the next time! Heard its good and doesn't smudge!

Have no idea what type of mascara to get and they have TONES with different statements and packaging.. but generally they mean the same, Longer and Thicker Eyelash. Right?? Gosh! So I randomly picked this. Reviews for this weren't that good found in Google. Lol!! but it's alright for me. it made my lashes look longer and thicker! :)

It doesn't have that usual round brush.. This flat brush made it much easier in terms of separating the eyelashes apart. It's better than the usual one though. I hate it when lashes stick together and it's soooo troublesome using a comb to comb through it again! But, this comes together. So easy! Suitable for a quick touch up! 

I'm in love with make up brushesss!! I bought EcoTools make up brushes. they are soft!! Love'em! I ordered brush protectors as well! Apparently, its effective in drying and storing the brush. Cant wait for them to arrive!

But one thing that I hate? Washing them and waiting for it to dry. It takes FOREVERrr.. lol! But it works so much better than your fingers or sponges.

Kabuki brush!!! Adorable! 

Black scarf! to keep me warm. The weather is getting crazy!! 5 degrees right now. I'm still finding a good pair of gloves. preferably, a fingerless gloves? lol!

See, that's it! No money already!

I'm off to paint my nails! maybe sleep. ah! Good night bloggy!

Signing out~

Relieved!

"Lets not get drops from the sky but get soaked under the rain. Dont give me clouds because I want sunshine. Dont tell me kinda because i need to feel it to know you mean it.. "

Im done with exams at last!!!!!! WOOOHOoooo!! Felt like a huge burden off my shoulder. what a wonderful relieve. Its amazing when you dont have anything to do everyday! Its so much more stressful when studying is in your plan instead of thinking what to do when you're free? get it? lol. Oh well.. There's actually a few things in mind to do during the hols. but seriously, i just wish i could earn some cash everytime i sleep.. like an hour for 5 bucks? HAHA ok i can dream..

So, what exactly am i gonna do?

• Gym! As much as 4 days a week! I really wanna work my body out but the problem is..I dont have the motivation to do so. HOW? fat lorr... haha
• Find a part time job!! like seriously.. I'm broke.. but im kinda picky in work and the pay. HOW? no money lorr...
• Watch GLEE!!! from the very start. hahahaaa!! super outdated i know! no.. its not even outdated, is total newbie. *whatevah!
• Buy hand gloves. Its getting really cold. My fingers, especially cant take the breezing cold weather.. :( no bf la tu! gloves shall keep me warm!! =D
• Re-dye my hair. RE-dye!! I just dyed my hair yesterday, and it turned out darker than the previous colour i had. OMG! so stupid right seriously? $20 down the drainnnn.. well the only good thing is, it covered my grey hair. thats it. hallelujah!
• Will be trying new recipes!! Those who want to be a guinea pig, feel free to be one. Each meal, $5. very cheap already. Ingredients expensive ok! and remember? I'm broke! hahaha!!
• Paint muh nails!! Girl's favourite past time. :)
• Take good care of my face. It needs constant treatment due to over-stressed period over the last few weeks and ever-hormonal acne. I found a really fantastic mask for acne. It's called DDF Sulfur Therapeutic Mask. It does cure my pimple after a few use. Its amazing! but I'm still looking for a good vitamin mask or so..
• Go out have fun enjoy Melbourne before 2nd sem starts!!! geee...
• Pray pray pray pray my results wouldnt be THAT bad. :(
• Sleep early? haha not! somehow, that's not gonna happen. 
• Oh my, i nearly forgot. my Thesis!!! bahahahahaha!! fail to the max. Urgh. More research..... dun laik!but guess it'll be better than er studying??

That's it I guess?

Some motivation for me to go to the gym more often:


Damn friggin HOT right!!!! omg. My future bf like that lah! ahahah!! but cannot also.. later hot girls like in the vid steal my bf away. Sigh. How? I shall go for ugly and fat. HAHA! so crap! single lah! easy peasy..

Thats all for today. Adios!

Signing out~